The 10-Minute Talk: Strengthen Your Relationship in Just One Intentional Conversation a Day

Let’s face it—life gets busy. Between work, kids, errands, and the endless loop of responsibilities, many couples find themselves drifting into logistics-mode. Conversations become dominated by to-do lists, not what’s really going on underneath.

But what if 10 minutes a day could change that?

What Is the “10-Minute Talk”?

The “10-Minute Talk” is a relationship-strengthening practice inspired by the 10-minute rule from relationship expert Dr. Terri Orbuch. It encourages couples to connect daily for 10 uninterrupted minutes—no distractions, no logistics—just conversation about anything other than work, kids, or household tasks.

It’s a small shift with big impact.

Why It Works

Fosters Real Connection

In the early days of a relationship, everything is new. We ask questions, we listen deeply, we’re curious. The 10-Minute Talk helps bring that same energy back into long-term partnerships.

Low Pressure, High Reward

Long conversations about emotions or conflict can feel overwhelming. But 10 minutes? That’s manageable. And when done consistently, it becomes a habit that nurtures the relationship.

Prevents Relationship Drift

Making time to regularly tune in to each other—beyond the surface—helps keep relationships from slipping into autopilot.

Promotes Emotional Safety and Trust

You’re not solving problems in this time. You’re listening. You’re learning. You’re showing up with presence and care.

How to Do It: 5 Quick Tips

Pick a Time That Works for You Both

Maybe it’s after the kids go to bed or while drinking coffee in the morning. What matters is that both of you are present.

Put the Devices Away

Turn off the TV. Silence your phone. Give each other your full attention.

Start with Curiosity

Ask open-ended questions:

• What’s been on your mind lately?

• What’s something that made you laugh this week?

• What’s a dream or idea you’ve been holding onto?

Listen Without Fixing

This isn’t a time to solve problems. It’s a time to hear your partner—really hear them.

Repeat Daily, Not Perfectly

It’s okay if you miss a day. The goal is consistency, not perfection.

Bonus Idea: Try the CPR Check-In Once a Week

Alongside your 10-Minute Talk, consider adding a CPR check-in once a week:

• C – Compliment: Share something you appreciated about your partner.

• P – Problem: Briefly bring up a small issue that’s been bugging you.

• R – Resolution: Collaboratively talk about how you’d both like to address it.

Done regularly, this can help reduce resentment and foster mutual respect before small annoyances become big ones.

The 10-Minute Talk Is for More Than Just Couples

While this practice is powerful in romantic partnerships, it’s just as meaningful for anyone wanting to deepen connection—with a close friend, a roommate, a family member, or even with yourself through journaling or reflection.

Final Thoughts

Your relationship doesn’t need hours of deep conversation every day. But it does need your attention. The 10-Minute Talk is a chance to say, I still want to know you. It’s a reminder that amidst the noise of everyday life, you’re choosing to slow down—together.

So maybe tonight, instead of scrolling your phone or folding laundry in silence, you sit down with your partner and ask,

“What’s something that made you feel alive this week?”

And then… you listen.